Green Haggis and Ham
by Adastra
Summary: Highlander version of "Green Eggs and Ham".


Green Haggis and Ham - by A.

**_Green Haggis and Ham   
_**by A.

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This was originally written in response to a Highlander Forum Mid-Week Challenge that had to involve Duncan MacLeod, an allergy, and a kilt. I have actually gone through and gotten rid of references to an allergy because I think it is better the closer it is to the original Seuss wording.

This is, as I am sure you guessed, a Highlander version of "Green Eggs and Ham" 

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I am Mac.

I am Mac.  
Mac I am.

That Mac-I-am!  
That Mac-I-am!   
I do not like that Mac-I-am! 

Do you like green haggis and ham? 

I do not like them, Mac-I-am.   
I do not like green haggis and ham. 

Would you like them here or there? 

I would not like them here or there.   
I would not like them anywhere.   
I do not like green haggis and ham.   
I do not like them, Mac-I-am. 

Would you like them in a Citroen?   
Would you like them with the Horsemen? 

I do not like them in a Citroen.  
I do not like them with the Horsemen.   
I do not like them here or there.   
I do not like them anywhere   
I do not like green haggis and ham.   
I do not like them, Mac-I-am. 

Would you eat them singing Bonnie Portmore?   
Would you eat them with a Claymore? 

Not singing Bonnie Portmore.   
Not with a Claymore.   
Not in a Citroen.   
Not with the Horsemen.   
I would not eat them here or there.   
I would not eat them anywhere.   
I would not eat green haggis and ham.   
I do not like them, Mac-I-am. 

Would you? Could you? In a kilt?   
Eat them! Eat them! Before they're spilt. 

I would not, could not, in a kilt. 

You may like them. You will see.   
You may like them with Richie! 

I would not, could not with Richie.   
Not in a kilt! You let me be.   
I do not like them singing Bonnie Portmore.   
I do not like them with a Claymore .   
I do not like them in a Citroen.   
I do not like them with the Horsemen.   
I do not like them here or there.   
I do not like them anywhere.   
I do not like green haggis and ham.   
I do not like them, Mac-I-am. 

A flashback! A flashback!   
A flashback! A flashback!   
Could you, would you, in a flashback? 

Not in a flashback! Not with Richie!   
Not in a kilt! Mac! Let me be!   
I would not, could not, singing Bonnie Portmore.   
I could not, would not, with a Claymore .   
I will not eat them with the Horsemen.   
I will not eat them in a Citroen.   
I will not eat them here or there.   
I will not eat them anywhere.   
I do not eat green haggis and ham.   
I do not like them, Mac-I-am.   


Say! In Joe's bar?   
Here in Joe's bar!   
Would you, could you, in Joe's bar? 

I would not, could not, in Joe's bar. 

Would you, could you, at a race track? 

I would not, could not, at a race track.  
Not in Joe's bar. Not in a flashback.   
Not in a kilt. Not with Richie.   
I do not like them, Mac, you see.   
Not in a Citroen. Not singing Bonnie Portmore.   
Not with the Horsemen. Not with a Claymore .   
I will not eat them here or there.   
I do not like them anywhere! 

You do not like green haggis and ham? 

I do not like them, Mac-I-am. 

Could you, would you, with Amanda? 

I would not, could not, with Amanda! 

Would you, could you, with Cassandra? 

I could not, would not, with Cassandra.   
I will not, will not, with Amanda.   
I will not eat them at the race track.   
I will not eat them in a flashback.   
Not in Joe's bar! Not with Richie!   
Not in a kilt! You let me be!   
I do not like them singing Bonnie Portmore.   
I do not like them with a Claymore .   
I will not eat them in a Citroen.   
I do not like them with the Horsemen.   
I do not like them here or there.   
I do not like them ANYWHERE!   
I do not like green haggis and ham!   
I do not like them, Mac-I-am. 

You do not like them. So you say.   
Try them! Try them! And you may.   
Try them and you may, I say. 

Mac! If you will let me be,   
I will try them. You will see... 

Say! I like green haggis and ham!   
I do! I like them, Mac-I-am!   
And I would eat them with Cassandra.   
And I would eat them with Amanda.   
And I will eat them at a race track.   
And in Joe's bar. And in a flashback.   
And in a kilt. And with Richie.   
They are so good, so good, you see!   
So I will eat them singing Bonnie Portmore.   
And I will eat them with a Claymore .   
And I will eat them in a Citroen.   
And I will eat them with the Horsemen.   
And I will eat them here and there.   
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!   
I do so like green haggis and ham!   
Thank you! Thank you, Mac-I-am! 

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Well, since you made it this far, you might as well review it!


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